There’s nothing like the first girl to ever break your heart.

I was on a date once with a girl and she asked me about my coming out story. I paused, blushed, took a sip of wine. She continued: “I mean, what was the first girl you dated? How did you get to that place in your life? I know it’s personal,” she said, “but I’d love to hear your story, if you want to tell it.”

I didn’t know what to say. She was my coming out story. She was the first girl I’d dated. If I told her that, would it all dissolve, would it be for nothing? I knew, from The Internet, that lesbians hated bicurious girls. What if I told her, and she thought that was all I was? “I haven’t really…put it into a narrative for myself yet,” I answered. She smiled, and we moved on.

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Are queer people different than everybody else?

Recently I was on a second date with a woman and I mentioned a wedding I would be attending soon. “I don’t know the brides well, but it should be fun,” I said.

“Oh,” she said, “so it’s a GAY wedding?”

I laughed. “Yeah. I mean, it’s a wedding. Weddings are weddings.” I was half-joking.

Three days later we were texting when she sent a follow-up question that must have been bugging her the whole weekend. “When you said what you said about that wedding…was that an attempt to have LGBT people blend in with straight people?” she asked.

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