Autostraddle Headlines are Absurd, & Other Unpopular Opinions

I used to have a friend who called me the Queer Stalker. In my closet years, I desperately consumed any and all pop culture I could find that had any queer in it at all. But one lovely byproduct of living an out life this year has been: I no longer love everything with lesbian content by default! And now that I think about it, I’ve got a few issues with some of the shows and content I clung to so hard back in the day. Let’s explore, shall we?

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All the Pretty Little Liars

THESE TWO.
“Emily, can’t you see? These outfits ARE practical. We can wear them again when we get married!”

It’s tonight! It’s tonight! The Pretty Little Liars Christmas special is tonight!

Excuse me while I take a moment to collect my thoughts…

PLL specials — which have traditionally aired at Halloween — can be a strange combination of heightened action and disappointing interludes. Like the murder train where the girls spent like five or six whole minutes of airtime fangirling out to Adam Lambert, and we were all bored (we were all bored, right?) and then suddenly Aria was stuck in a box with a corpse and we were terrified, and meanwhile Paige was Marlene Dietrich and we were all looking up how old Lindsay Shaw was in real life so we could be comfortable with our fantasies?

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Queer TV: 5 Shows Worth Waiting For

Orphan Black, The Fosters, Orange is the New Black, Pretty Little Liars, Transparent
I just imagined a world in which all of these characters knew each other and my head exploded. Maybe a university? Cosima, Paige and Emily are students, Maura is a professor, Lena is the Dean, and Stef is assigned to help Poussey transition out of prison in a special college release program? I don’t write fanfiction, but someone, please, write this.

Long weekends and holidays are upon us. Need a new queer TV addiction? All of my favorite queer tv shows, while currently on hiatus, are available on Netflix or Amazon Prime. 

I can’t watch every tv show with a queer character on it these days — there are just too many. Anyway, let’s face it: I’m just not fond enough of Batman, for instance, to watch Gotham just for the queer character. But I do have a core watchlist of shows I hold very dear to my heart. These shows are important for visibility, sure; fortunately, they’re also a sheer delight to watch.

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New Moon Rising

(wikia.com)
Instead of kissing, lesbians seal their sapphic bonds by extinguishing a small flame. (wikia.com)

Keeping up with queer tv used to be as simple as watching Buffy once a week and renting Queer as Folk from the video store on weekends. Now it’s a full time job.

Willow Rosenberg went gay my freshman year of high school. I didn’t even watch Buffy regularly yet, but I happened to catch the episode when Tara tells Willow “I am, you know — yours,” and Willow blows out a candle.

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